Should Books Come With Instructions?

I enrolled in a new book club recently, so there’s been much discussion among my friends as to what constitutes a good selection.  You know, the mythical “something everyone will like,” the book that won’t lead to bloodshed. 

Of course, finding the holy grail of choice reads is a little like trying to stuff a dozen wildcats into a pillowcase.  Book tastes are diverse.  They’re varied, they’re unique, and in this economy, they’re sensitive.  I think it’s part of the whole apocolyptic attitude.  People resent “wasting” time and/or money on a book that didn’t resonate with them.  We’ve become hoarders of the precious and exclusionist toward everything else.   We want a perfect match or we don’t want one at all.

Writers with…ahem…current manuscripts in the works are especially aware of this phenomenon (at least they should be), and I’ll be interested to see if it has an impact on what the market turns out.  Will books become worse or better as they seek the popular middle ground?

I know that common thought would say “worse.”  Diversity in the reading market is good; it challenges us.  And, despite the opinions of fellow authors who freak the heck out every time someone one-stars their book on Amazon, everyone benefits in some way from every book they read.  They come to realize what voices connect with them and which are hit-and-miss, and maybe they start to wonder about how they sound to the world.  They find themselves enthralled with some characters, while others bore them to the point of not finishing the book.  And then, once it’s closed, they may later ponder other aspects of their lives that are little more than unfulfilling time-wasters.

A personal example:  Yann Martel’s Life of Pi.  You’ve porbably at least heard of it; heard it praised, heard it loved, heard it reviled.  I’m on the loving side.  I adored the book as an adventure-driven metaphor for the classic faith journey.  But my family (rather faith-driven themselves, as you know), didn’t feel the same way.  In fact, I got the same criticism from all of them: “Okay, but I couldn’t make it past the first 150 pages.”

All of them (yes, the preacher, the preacher’s wife, and the preacher’s phD-seeking younger daughter)said that. 

And for my part, I huffed and fumed like Yann Martel was my Honor Student godson. 

How *could* they?  Finish the book!  I pleaded.  Just do it!  I begged.  You won’t regret it!  I promise!  I swear!  Oh, for the Love of God FINISH THE BOOK! WAAAAAAAAAAH!

More than a year has passed.  They have not finished the book.  And I have at long-last abandoned my self-imposed Herculean labor of shoving it toward them like a Saturn-sized boulder.  If only, I resigned myself to say, if only it came with an instruction, right on the cover.  Something like:  “You WILL love it, but you have to get past the first half.  The payoff is worth it!  Moneyback guarantee.”

When I got to thinking about it, I realized there are probably many books out there that would benefit from reader instructions/warnings on the covers.  I don’t mean the jacket blurbs; those are useless.  They’re written by publicists who are paid to make everyone buy the book, including people they know will hate it.  No, I mean useful warnings, like these:

Even though it’s a bestseller, this book is full of sentence fragments and creative grammar.  Teachers and vocab snobs beware.

If you don’t want to read about a sudden death, walk past this misleadingly colorful and shiny cover.

Author does significant indulgent proselytizing between pages 30 and 65.  You can skip that part if you want and not miss out on much plot.  The rest of it is pretty much worth what you’re paying.

The word “God” in the title does not necessarily make a book appropriate for your Sunday School class, and by purchasing it, you agree not to hate the book for that fact.  

If you can’t get past a writer’s political leanings, you won’t appreciate this.  Have a nice day.

What do y’all think?  Can you think of a book that would benefit from such a disclaimer? 

 

 

       

            

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